It’s Not Jealousy, It’s a Real Malfunction: Why We Scrutinize The Priviledged

When our day is interrupted by someone who expands our world, the thoughts that go through our minds may feel like envy—but it’s more than that. It’s the energy they bring, vibrating in a way that disrupts our focus. Whether it’s a stunning woman, a charismatic leader, or even someone you don’t particularly like, the reaction is similar. We fawn, we act cool, and sometimes we trip—both mentally and physically—because our brains can’t process the normal when confronted with the extraordinary. It’s rarely discussed, perhaps because it’s a personal and slightly shameful split of mind, a betrayal of the comforting idea that “we are all the same.”

The Charismatic Ones

Our reluctance to help or engage with those who seem to have it all often boils down to two thoughts: “They’ll be fine; everyone wants to help,” and “They probably expect it.” Usually, they are both wrong and meanwhile, we’re falling over chairs or stumbling over words because our attention has run dry. The charismatic ones, unaware of the inner chaos they cause, walk into a room and make the pond bigger for everyone else.

These are the people who command attention effortlessly. They change the vibe of the room just by being in it. It’s not just superficial envy; it’s a real, almost physical reaction. They throw off our balance—literally. It’s like our brains can’t juggle the mundane when the exceptional walks in.

This isn’t about hierarchy or admitting someone is better. It’s acknowledging that some people have a magnetism that disrupts our routine. We don’t always talk about it because it’s embarrassing—this inner malfunction. It’s a kind of cognitive dissonance where admiration, resentment, attraction, and avoidance all collide.

Our reactions aren’t just about them; they’re about us and how we perceive social standing. We hesitate to show kindness or attention because we assume they don’t need it or are used to it. This withholding, this awkwardness, just adds to our own discomfort.

In the end, it happens to all of us at some point. The key isn’t to deny it or try to be “cool.” It’s about recognizing that even in those moments of awe, we’re still just people trying to navigate the unpredictable dynamics of social interaction. It’s a shared experience, a reminder that no matter how commanding someone’s presence might be, everyone deserves to be treated with the same respect and humanity.